Missteps and Milestones
by 1summersday
Summary: Jackson reflects on his relationship with April and their daughter


Ever since April moved out it affected Jackson in ways he hadn't even considered. His house felt too big now especially when he was alone. It was hard for him, particularly when Harriet was with April. He constantly missed her and worried about missing out on milestones in her life. This was a fear Jackson had before evening having his precious baby girl. He had an absentee father, who missed all the important things. Who wasn't there for him. Who was more of a mystery to him than a person. He didn't want that for his daughter. He wanted to be there when she said her first word, took her first steps, went to her first day of kindergarten, had her first boyfriend, got her first job and found someone who made her world stop and married them. He wanted to be there for every up and down.

The problem though was that he couldn't seem to figure out how to make it through the ups and downs with April. They truly loved each other with every fibre of their being but ever since the start, their relationship was an ocean full of waves and just when they thought they had mastered how to ride them another one would come, knocking them off kilter. They used to be such a good team but now if felt like one of them was always the starting player while the other one was benched.

Harriet was currently with April and wasnt scheduled to be with him till the following Wednesday. It was a Saturday and he was off for the weekend so it's not like he could even sneak in some snuggle time in the daycare with her. Jackson was particularly devastated as April had called last night to tell him Harriet had stood up on her own for the first time. She had added that she managed to catch it on video so he could watch it later but they both knew that wasnt the same. Jackson's fear of missing out on things was growing and the he worried that Harriet would bond more with her mother and get to a point where she didnt need him.

Later on while Jackson was watching the game he heard a knock at the door. As he strode across the living room her swore he could hear the faint cry of his little girl. Opening the door he was met with a desperate looking April with a diaper bag over one shoulder and a red-faced crying Harriet bouncing on the other hip. " Hey, what's going on?" he asked as he took a squirming Harriet from April and moving aside to let her in. "Hi sweetpea. Hey baby girl, what's with all the tears hmm?" he asked as he adjusted her into his arms rubbing circles on her back

"Hey Jackson." April said sounding defeated. "She has been crying all day and nothing Ive done is helping. She has a fever of 102 that wont come down, she won't stop pulling at her ear which Im pretty sure is infected but I couldn't check at home and I really dont feel like waiting to get her check out at work especially since Karev is off today, so here we are."

"Aw pumpkin that doesnt sound fun" he whispered to Harriet as he turned to face his ex wife who looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Hey…April…" he said softly "it's not a big deal, Ill go grab my bag from upstairs" he said as her heard the doorbell ring. "That's the pizza" he called as he put Harriet in the playpen in the living room. "There are plates in the cupboard and wine on the counter… you look like you could use some, Ill be right back" he said as he headed upstairs to grab his things.

Jackson came down a few minutes later to find a piece of pizza half eaten, wine poured but untouched and April walking around his living room trying to sooth their daughter to no avail. "April, here bring her to the couch" Jackson said as he got out a tiny otoscope and forehead thermometer. April sat on the couch lengthwise, her and Harriet facing Jackson who was seated at the end. Jackson ran the thermometer over his daughter's forehead. "Yup, still 102, have you given her anything for it?" "Of course I have Jackson, every 4 hours what kind of mother…for that matter doctor do you think I am?!" "April, Im not questioning your skills…I just wanted to see what we're up against." Youre a great doctor and the best mother our daughter could ask for, a better parent than me for that matter he thought. "Alright pumpkin, can you let daddy look in your ear" he asked his daughter as he got the otoscope ready. As soon as Jackson touched her ear Harriet let out an ear piercing scream. "Shh I know bug but daddy's just trying to help you" April soothed. "Here, Jackson let me adjust her" April said as she moved Harriet into a coddling position which allowed Jackson better access and April an easier way to comfort her. April sat there stroking their daughter's head whispering to her as Jackson examined her ear. "Almost done sweetpea" Jackson said as he made eye contact with April "It's definitely infected, luckily I have some drops but we both know we need to get her fever down too." Jackson gently put some drops in Harriet's ear, who had started to calm thanks to her mother's soothing. "We can run her a cool bath and do you have some Acetaminophen we could give her?" April suggested. "I'll run into work and grab some, –"itll need to be an injection" they both said in unison as their eyes connected. They lingered for a minute caught in each other before Jackson broke the silence, "Ill be back soon" he said as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door

When Jackson returned he found his daughter and April upstairs in his bathroom. Jackson stopped for a moment and watched in awe the interaction between his ex-wife and their daughter. They were both so in love with each other. He could tell Harriet felt safe in her mother's care;April had always been a natural at motherhood and the love she had for her daughter oozed out of her. He wished fatherhood came that easily to him. He also wished the relationship between himself and April was as effortless as April was with Harriet but he quickly pushed that thought from his mind.

"Looks like someone has calmed down a little" he said as he entered the bathroom. "To be honest, I think we both have" April responded. "Alright how should we do this?" April asked, both her and Jackson not wanting anything more unpleasant for their girl but knowing the shot would help. "Why dont you dry her off on the change table and Ill give it to her then so hopefully she distracted." Jackson suggestion "Team effort, I like it" April responded as she grabbed a towel and lifted their sleeping little girl to the change table. "Feeling a little better bug?" April asked as she dried Harriet off with a towel tickling her belly. "Youre a silly little squirmy worm arent you" she stated as Harriet giggled and babbled at her mom. Jackson used that moment to draw the medicine and give it her quickly while she was still distracted. Harriet scrunched up her face in confusion but luckily no cries of pain occurred. "There you go bug, hopefully daddy made you feel all better now" April said as she finished putting Harriet's pjs on and picked her up.

Facing Jackson, Harriet reached out her arms for her dad who happily obliged giving her an Eskimo kiss and snuggling her into his chest. "Time for bed little one." he said as he and April headed down the hall to Harriet's room. April sat on the rocking chair rocking Harriet to sleep as Jackson tidied the room. "Thanks for your help today Jackson, I was at my wits end and feeling so helpless watching my baby in pain, I'm so glad that she has you…that I have you…" Jackson turned to face April "Of course she has me and April you know I'll always be there for you. We make a great team, especially when we play together." April lifted Harriet to her crib and as she and Jackson leaned over watching their daughter drift off to sleep Harriet opened her eyes. Upon seeing Jackson she lifted her arms to him "Dada" she said with arms out stretched. April and Jackson looked from one another to Harriet and back again "Did she just…say her first word?" Jackson asked in excitement "oh my goodness that she did!" April squealed as Jackson picked up their daughter and the 3 of them embraced. "She knows you were there for her and her mama tonight." April said "she needs you. I need you…we may not be able to ride the ups and downs of being together but we sure make a great parenting team, me and you." April said.

As he put his sleeping daughter back in her crib Jackson felt a surge of happiness. He knew then that his daughter would always need her mother and also her father as well. She needed her team and even when there were days he was benched Jackson loved watching April be the star player. Softly Jackson grabbed April's hand "me and you" he whispered.


End file.
